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Fear is how I fall
Mar. 20th, 2013 03:10 pm[ "All things truly wicked, start from innocence." – Ernest Hemmingway]
Humanity was something Hal once took for granted. He'd promised himself that it wouldn't be something he'd take for granted again. A part of him had tried so hard for so very long to be human; he had thought that once he was again, it would come naturally. Organizing things, counting things, minute details that no one else ever noticed, obsessive compulsive disorder would be a thing of the past; after all, they'd been coping techniques and he shouldn't need them once he was human. Except...except the monster had been such a part of him for so very long, he couldn't let it go even when it was no longer there. Humans had always had evil in them, without any compulsion, any monsters, any temptation they were capable of evil that made the monsters writhe with envy and it was that evil that Hal was convinced he could feel scratching in the back of his oh-so-very-human brain. It was that evil that he must keep a tight rein on, that he must resort to the techniques that had helped him pass as human for so very long.
It was also those techniques that made him a brilliant employee, even if his place of employment was only a tea shop. It was the cleanest, most organized tea shop in all of the United Kingdom. He made certain of it. He even took pride in it--a testament to how much of a life he didn't have, despite being alive. He spent most of his time, on and off the clock, at the tea shop and while he never intended to reorganize the shelves--he'd just gone there to read--he'd found a bit of dust on them and those boxes were not lined up along the edge of the shelf as they should be.
"Hal, you're here long past your shift. Go on home," his boss prodded him from her corner office where she was balancing the accounts.
"It's all right. I'm not on shift today," Hal responded. "I just want to finish this shelf." He knew that it would turn into reorganizing all the shelves. A job half done would drive him more than a bit batty and a batty Hal was a bad Hal. Keep busy. Keep sane.
Humanity was something Hal once took for granted. He'd promised himself that it wouldn't be something he'd take for granted again. A part of him had tried so hard for so very long to be human; he had thought that once he was again, it would come naturally. Organizing things, counting things, minute details that no one else ever noticed, obsessive compulsive disorder would be a thing of the past; after all, they'd been coping techniques and he shouldn't need them once he was human. Except...except the monster had been such a part of him for so very long, he couldn't let it go even when it was no longer there. Humans had always had evil in them, without any compulsion, any monsters, any temptation they were capable of evil that made the monsters writhe with envy and it was that evil that Hal was convinced he could feel scratching in the back of his oh-so-very-human brain. It was that evil that he must keep a tight rein on, that he must resort to the techniques that had helped him pass as human for so very long.
It was also those techniques that made him a brilliant employee, even if his place of employment was only a tea shop. It was the cleanest, most organized tea shop in all of the United Kingdom. He made certain of it. He even took pride in it--a testament to how much of a life he didn't have, despite being alive. He spent most of his time, on and off the clock, at the tea shop and while he never intended to reorganize the shelves--he'd just gone there to read--he'd found a bit of dust on them and those boxes were not lined up along the edge of the shelf as they should be.
"Hal, you're here long past your shift. Go on home," his boss prodded him from her corner office where she was balancing the accounts.
"It's all right. I'm not on shift today," Hal responded. "I just want to finish this shelf." He knew that it would turn into reorganizing all the shelves. A job half done would drive him more than a bit batty and a batty Hal was a bad Hal. Keep busy. Keep sane.
